While I was in the hospital for the new knee (and again a few days later), I had all kind of ideas for blogs here that would have been hilarious. Problem was, I had nothing to write them down with and the drugs wore off. Which means that not only were they not hilarious, they probably weren’t even coherent.
So instead I’ve been thinking about the brighter side of things. You know, the silver lining that all dark clouds are supposed to have. For example . . .
Con: A 6″ incision smack down the middle of my knee
Pro: Hey, knees are ugly anyway, right? (My plastic surgeon said so.) Besides, in a few more weeks, I’m gonna be moving so fast that no one will be able to keep up, much less see the scar.
Con: Having to wear thick, white, super-duper support TED hose 23 hours a day for three weeks.
Pro: The hose fit so snuggly that my thighs don’t jiggle nearly as much as they normally would.
Con: Physical therapy.
Con: Narcotics cause constipation.
Pro: I just had my old knee SAWED off and replaced with titanium and plastic. I don’t need to be going to the bathroom all the time anyway.
Con: Foley catheter.
Pro: I can drink as much as I want without having to leave the comfort of my bed.
Con: a round of angina that scared the bejeebers out of Bob and me.
Pro: EKGs, scans, echocardiograms and one coronary arteriogram later, now I know my heart is in better shape than a woman of my age with my indulgences has a right to expect.